We will not be adopting the baby boy we requested prayer for. His birthmother decided to raise him because it was just too hard to give him up for adoption. We understand why she felt that way, and pray that God will give her the physical, spiritual and emotional strength she needs to raise her two small children. It sounds as if she is in a pretty tough situation.
We still haven't finished our home study. We were supposed to have our two meetings with the social worker last week, but they got cancelled due to weather and sickness. She is supposed to come this Thursday night and Friday afternoon. We are looking forward to getting that done.
Our nursery is almost ready! It has been really fun getting all the baby stuff back out again. We are so excited to meet the baby God has picked out for our family!
Thanks for all your prayers!
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Prayer request
On Friday we were alerted to a situation involving a birthmother that we would like to ask everyone to pray about. Our agency got a call from a hospital where a birthmother had given birth to a healthy baby boy that she wants to put up for adoption. Our agency wanted to know if we would be willing to put in our profile for the mother to choose from. We said we did, so the birthmother will be looking at it this week.
She only has one other possible family to pick from, so there's about a 50% possibility we may be adopting this little guy. We know this little baby boy's life is in God's hands and we know God already has the family picked out to raise him. Would you pray for God's protection over him while he waits for his family, and that God will give the birthmother wisdom, strength, and discernment as she makes this decision?
We'll keep you posted on what happens!
She only has one other possible family to pick from, so there's about a 50% possibility we may be adopting this little guy. We know this little baby boy's life is in God's hands and we know God already has the family picked out to raise him. Would you pray for God's protection over him while he waits for his family, and that God will give the birthmother wisdom, strength, and discernment as she makes this decision?
We'll keep you posted on what happens!
Thursday, February 14, 2008
The end is near!
We are nearing the end of the paper chase and getting closer to what we are very excited about--adopting our child! We have completed our end of the paperwork and will begin our homestudy next Thursday. The social worker, Tiffany, will be coming to our home Thursday and Friday. After she completes her paperwork the agency will begin showing our profile to birthmothers. I'll be working on the profile tonight. We have to type up a few pages about our family and include pictures of our family and our home. Once that's done all we have to do is wait! I've been learning a lot about waiting lately. Maybe I'll share some thoughts on that in the next post...
This has been a very emotional and busy time for us, but we know God is guiding us and orchestrating this whole process. If it wasn't for our faith in Him, I think we would be completely stressed out! The Sovereignty of God is a beautiful thing. It makes situations like this so much easier because we know He is control, not us. Thanks for all your prayers!
Stacie
This has been a very emotional and busy time for us, but we know God is guiding us and orchestrating this whole process. If it wasn't for our faith in Him, I think we would be completely stressed out! The Sovereignty of God is a beautiful thing. It makes situations like this so much easier because we know He is control, not us. Thanks for all your prayers!
Stacie
Sunday, February 3, 2008
The Love of a Birthmother
Our adoption agency requires us to read at least two books from their recommended reading list as part of our preparation for adoption. When I first heard about this I was not excited. My initial thoughts were, "Just what we need-one more thing to do." That was a really poor attitude, but I just didn't think the books would be that interesting or helpful. But we have been trying to complete our requirements as timely as possible, so we quickly picked two from the list and ordered them on Amazon. The titles we picked are The Whole Life Adoption Book by Jayne E. Schooler and Because I Loved You: A Birthmother's View of Open Adoption by Patricia Dischler.
I decided to read the one by Patricia Dischler first since it was a personal story and looked a lot more interesting. I was not disappointed. It was one of the most eye-opening, tear-jerking books I have read in a long time. It completely changed the way I view birthmothers, opened my eyes to how much we should respect birthmothers, and made me realize how Luke and I should be faithfully praying for the birthmother of our future adopted child. This woman's story is amazing, and it shattered every stereotype or judgmental attitude I have ever had about women who give their babies up for adoption.
Often times we wrongly assume bad things about women who are giving their babies up for adoption. We assume they are sexually promiscuous, or that they have a bad family life with unsupportive families. We wonder "How could any woman give up her baby?" as if she somehow cares less about her child than those of us who keep our babies. One thing I learned from this book is that birthmothers love their babies as much as any mother, and that is exactly why they are putting their children up for adoption. If the birthmothers cared nothing for their child, they could have taken the easy way out and had an abortion. But they chose the difficult way, and it is all because they love their child enough to give him/her life and give it to them the best way they know how.
The author Patricia Dischler was 20 years old when she got pregnant, and she made a very selfless decision to put her son up for adoption because of situations in her life that would have made it virtually impossible for her to raise him. She desperately wanted to keep him, but she knew he would have a better life if she gave him to a family that was better suited to be parents. I won't get into her whole story for the sake of brevity, but I wanted to share one excerpt from her book. This is from the section after she had given birth to her son and was able to spend 2-3 days with him in the hospital before she had to give him up to the adoptive family.
"I spent hours holding Joe. I memorized his eyebrows. His toenails. Every wrinkle of skin. I found each part of his body that resembled mine or that of someone in my family. I mimicked his yawn, his cry. I was awed by his every move. The way he sucked on the knuckle of his thumb. The way his fist curled around the hem of my nightgown when he slept. The way his knees fell to the outside when he was asleep. I cherished everything about him, his crying when he was hungry, his soft snore when he slept, even the yellow streaks he made in his diaper. To this day I have a towel he spit up on in a box in my closet."
Reading about how much she loved her son and how hard it was for her to walk away from him in the hospital gave me such a burden for women that make this difficult decision. We are still very excited to be adopting a child, but have realized that with our joy of welcoming a child into our family there will be a woman mourning the loss of a child she has loved for nine months. Will you please join us in praying for this courageous woman who will be giving us this gift of her child? Pray for God to give her the emotional and physical strength to endure this trial, and that through this she might come to know Christ. And please keep praying for us, that God will give us wisdom and sensitivity in all issues surrounding this adoption.
Stacie
I decided to read the one by Patricia Dischler first since it was a personal story and looked a lot more interesting. I was not disappointed. It was one of the most eye-opening, tear-jerking books I have read in a long time. It completely changed the way I view birthmothers, opened my eyes to how much we should respect birthmothers, and made me realize how Luke and I should be faithfully praying for the birthmother of our future adopted child. This woman's story is amazing, and it shattered every stereotype or judgmental attitude I have ever had about women who give their babies up for adoption.
Often times we wrongly assume bad things about women who are giving their babies up for adoption. We assume they are sexually promiscuous, or that they have a bad family life with unsupportive families. We wonder "How could any woman give up her baby?" as if she somehow cares less about her child than those of us who keep our babies. One thing I learned from this book is that birthmothers love their babies as much as any mother, and that is exactly why they are putting their children up for adoption. If the birthmothers cared nothing for their child, they could have taken the easy way out and had an abortion. But they chose the difficult way, and it is all because they love their child enough to give him/her life and give it to them the best way they know how.
The author Patricia Dischler was 20 years old when she got pregnant, and she made a very selfless decision to put her son up for adoption because of situations in her life that would have made it virtually impossible for her to raise him. She desperately wanted to keep him, but she knew he would have a better life if she gave him to a family that was better suited to be parents. I won't get into her whole story for the sake of brevity, but I wanted to share one excerpt from her book. This is from the section after she had given birth to her son and was able to spend 2-3 days with him in the hospital before she had to give him up to the adoptive family.
"I spent hours holding Joe. I memorized his eyebrows. His toenails. Every wrinkle of skin. I found each part of his body that resembled mine or that of someone in my family. I mimicked his yawn, his cry. I was awed by his every move. The way he sucked on the knuckle of his thumb. The way his fist curled around the hem of my nightgown when he slept. The way his knees fell to the outside when he was asleep. I cherished everything about him, his crying when he was hungry, his soft snore when he slept, even the yellow streaks he made in his diaper. To this day I have a towel he spit up on in a box in my closet."
Reading about how much she loved her son and how hard it was for her to walk away from him in the hospital gave me such a burden for women that make this difficult decision. We are still very excited to be adopting a child, but have realized that with our joy of welcoming a child into our family there will be a woman mourning the loss of a child she has loved for nine months. Will you please join us in praying for this courageous woman who will be giving us this gift of her child? Pray for God to give her the emotional and physical strength to endure this trial, and that through this she might come to know Christ. And please keep praying for us, that God will give us wisdom and sensitivity in all issues surrounding this adoption.
Stacie
Saturday, January 26, 2008
Paperwork nearing completion
Good news!
We have completed the majority of the paperwork, fingerprints, and background checks. We will be sending everything to Bethany on Monday along with the initial application fee. The two things remaining before the social worker comes into our home and starts the home study are the medical exams and a fairly lengthy "family information guide." We have our Dr's appointments on February 4th and are going to set a goal to complete the family information guide's this week. If all goes well we should start the home visits in a couple of weeks. Once the homestudy is done and we complete a profile for prospective birthmothers, the matching process begins!!
Luke and Stacie
We have completed the majority of the paperwork, fingerprints, and background checks. We will be sending everything to Bethany on Monday along with the initial application fee. The two things remaining before the social worker comes into our home and starts the home study are the medical exams and a fairly lengthy "family information guide." We have our Dr's appointments on February 4th and are going to set a goal to complete the family information guide's this week. If all goes well we should start the home visits in a couple of weeks. Once the homestudy is done and we complete a profile for prospective birthmothers, the matching process begins!!
Luke and Stacie
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
We're ready for Spring!
We are so ready for the weather to warm up! It feels like we have been inside for months. We have tried to get creative with our days and think of new activities to do. Here's some pics of things we have come up with:
Caleb got a little too feminine and decided to get into my nail polish drawer and paint his toenails. Thankfully he didn't spill very much, his foot was the messiest part!
Isaac has been practicing writing on his easel.
.
We've done a LOT of Play-Doh.
We made a volcano that actually erupted. Isaac wanted to do it again and again.
If you have any more ideas for fun indoor activities with a 2 and 4 year old, please let me know! My creativity is running out!
Stacie
Caleb got a little too feminine and decided to get into my nail polish drawer and paint his toenails. Thankfully he didn't spill very much, his foot was the messiest part!
Isaac has been practicing writing on his easel.
.
We've done a LOT of Play-Doh.
We made a volcano that actually erupted. Isaac wanted to do it again and again.
If you have any more ideas for fun indoor activities with a 2 and 4 year old, please let me know! My creativity is running out!
Stacie
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Thoughts on 1 Thessalonians - continued...
Paul's ministry in contrast to false teachers
False teachers are everywhere in our day. This should not come as a surprise to us since we are given many warnings about them in Scripture. Peter spends a good deal of time in 2 Peter to warn believers what to look out for, Jude spends a whole book on the subject, and Luke records Paul's prophetic words to us in the following passage in Acts.
Acts 20:29-32 know that after my departure fierce wolves will come in among you, not sparing the flock; and from among your own selves will arise men speaking twisted things, to draw away the disciples after them. Therefore be alert, remembering that for three years I did not cease night or day to admonish everyone with tears. And now I commend you to God and to the word of his grace, which is able to build you up and to give you the inheritance among all those who are sanctified.
So what should we be watching for to guard against the many false teachers of our day? In 1 Thessalonians 2, Paul lays out several examples of how his ministry differs from false teachers.
For our appeal does not spring from error or impurity or any attempt to deceive,
Paul's ministry springs from good motives, not by attempting to deceive. Though Paul was kind and gentle most of the time, when it came to doctrine he was very straightforward. He was unwilling to tell people what they wanted to hear with regards to wealth, suffering, and sin, if their thoughts were not in conformity to the Word of God.
but just as we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel, so we speak, not to please man, but to please God who tests our hearts.
Paul was not a man pleaser. In 2 Corinthians 5:9 he states that his ambition is to please God. Pleasing men is probably the predominant characteristic of false teachers today. They like to tickle ears.
For we never came with words of flattery, as you know, nor with a pretext for greed
Paul came with plainness of speech as he says in depth in 1 Corinthians, and was not about money. He worked as a tent maker when he wasn't preaching and teaching so that he would not be a burden on the churches. This does not mean he was not entitled to support. He clearly states in other passages that as needed, the church should and must support its ministers, though bi-vocationalism is an option. Paul is simply pointing out that the false teachers motives in the ministry are driven by money. It is easy to spot these false teachers. They fill the airwaves and TV stations constantly asking for money. They live in excess while Paul sacrificed and got by with little.
Nor did we seek glory from people, whether from you or from others
Paul was interested in bringing God glory, not himself. False teachers like to bring attention to themselves, Paul directs you to God.
But we proved to be gentle among you, as a nursing mother tenderly cares for her own children. Having so fond an affection for you, we were well-pleased to impart to you not only the gospel of God but also our own lives, because you had become very dear to us.
What a contrast! The Bible often characterizes false teachers as wolves. Paul characterizes gospel ministers as nursing mothers taking care of her own children. I remember vividly when our boys were very young and Stacie would be up all hours of the night caring for them. She could say, like Paul, that she was imparting her life to them because they had become so dear to her. This gentleness and love is what should characterize our pastors.
Luke
False teachers are everywhere in our day. This should not come as a surprise to us since we are given many warnings about them in Scripture. Peter spends a good deal of time in 2 Peter to warn believers what to look out for, Jude spends a whole book on the subject, and Luke records Paul's prophetic words to us in the following passage in Acts.
Acts 20:29-32 know that after my departure fierce wolves will come in among you, not sparing the flock; and from among your own selves will arise men speaking twisted things, to draw away the disciples after them. Therefore be alert, remembering that for three years I did not cease night or day to admonish everyone with tears. And now I commend you to God and to the word of his grace, which is able to build you up and to give you the inheritance among all those who are sanctified.
So what should we be watching for to guard against the many false teachers of our day? In 1 Thessalonians 2, Paul lays out several examples of how his ministry differs from false teachers.
For our appeal does not spring from error or impurity or any attempt to deceive,
Paul's ministry springs from good motives, not by attempting to deceive. Though Paul was kind and gentle most of the time, when it came to doctrine he was very straightforward. He was unwilling to tell people what they wanted to hear with regards to wealth, suffering, and sin, if their thoughts were not in conformity to the Word of God.
but just as we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel, so we speak, not to please man, but to please God who tests our hearts.
Paul was not a man pleaser. In 2 Corinthians 5:9 he states that his ambition is to please God. Pleasing men is probably the predominant characteristic of false teachers today. They like to tickle ears.
For we never came with words of flattery, as you know, nor with a pretext for greed
Paul came with plainness of speech as he says in depth in 1 Corinthians, and was not about money. He worked as a tent maker when he wasn't preaching and teaching so that he would not be a burden on the churches. This does not mean he was not entitled to support. He clearly states in other passages that as needed, the church should and must support its ministers, though bi-vocationalism is an option. Paul is simply pointing out that the false teachers motives in the ministry are driven by money. It is easy to spot these false teachers. They fill the airwaves and TV stations constantly asking for money. They live in excess while Paul sacrificed and got by with little.
Nor did we seek glory from people, whether from you or from others
Paul was interested in bringing God glory, not himself. False teachers like to bring attention to themselves, Paul directs you to God.
But we proved to be gentle among you, as a nursing mother tenderly cares for her own children. Having so fond an affection for you, we were well-pleased to impart to you not only the gospel of God but also our own lives, because you had become very dear to us.
What a contrast! The Bible often characterizes false teachers as wolves. Paul characterizes gospel ministers as nursing mothers taking care of her own children. I remember vividly when our boys were very young and Stacie would be up all hours of the night caring for them. She could say, like Paul, that she was imparting her life to them because they had become so dear to her. This gentleness and love is what should characterize our pastors.
Luke
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